Ruby and Tango

Ruby and Tango
Me 'n' Ruby and of course Tango

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Some jokes

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite – All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary

 Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action!
 So I sent her my ironing. That’ll keep the lazy woman busy.

 I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind.
 Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on Friday this year”. Mick said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th then.”

 My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak

 Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

 I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.

 After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

 A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years. The dad says, “Never mind son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”

 Just had my water bill of £175 drop on my mat. That’s a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just £2 a month: time to change supplier I think.

 2 women called at my door and asked what bread I ate, when I said white they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes…. I think they were Hovis Witnesses.


  1. HAHAHAHAHA, tears are streaming! This was SO funny, Arlene and couldn't have come at a better time. I had just finished a long overdue blog walk and then saw that a bunch reposted. My fingers are dead from typing. But no sooner did I get here and right from the alcoholic transvestite I was hooked and couldn't stop laughing. That was GREAT! Thanks!

  2. Ah Jenny, glad to hear from you and that the post lifted your spirits, I was making a last check before bed and got sidetracked by changing my background, !, and viewing it showed your reply, I'd left a comment on your blog . Cyber hugs ((X))

  3. You're welcome. just see what others miss, by not visiting. lol


Make my day, leave a comment.....Please? I appreciate every one and will do my best to reply.