It’s quarter to three, there’s no one in the place except you and me., that’s what Frank sang, well the song’s mine right now, as that’s what the time is now.
I don’t really give a stuff whether or not anyone reads or comments on this, I’m writing for my own pleasure.
I was so tired last night, my head was nodding at 9 pm, I’d gone out for the afternoon with my friend Nicky to the New Forest with the dogs, all that walking, chatting and fresh air makes you tired. Also the day before i’d gone to Karen’s for lunch then a crowd of us met up on the rec for a dog walk, there were 16 dogs, and all get on so well together. it was a smashing day.
I went to bed at ten, and woke up at 1.45, finished off a book I was reading and still don’t feel tired, so here I am, not something I usually do, on the computer during the night.
It was a good book, one of the Catherine Cookson type,and it was pretty graphic of the conditions that women had to put up with back in the late 1800’sand how they were nothing but chattels to their husbands, the women had re-married to save herself from the workhouse had four daughters and her husband beat her and them, plus drank themselves out of home after home. harrowing stuff, ‘The Jarrow Girl’ it was called.
Back to my being awake, it’s an absolute pain in the derriere wakening up in the night, if you’ve ever suffered from it you’ll sympathise, you go to bed tired at a normal respectable time , with me around 10.30, fall asleep and then wake up, it can be anything from midnight till 4 am so there’s no pattern to it, Sometimes I take half a sleeping pill, have a read and go back to sleep, but tonight isn’t one of them.
I’ve brought the laptop to bed without the cable, so that when the battery runs out, I've no option but to finish.
How I envy the dogs, they are sound, now and then one glances up at me gives a puff as though telling me to put out the light, then settles back to snooze the night away.
It’s worse in the cold winter months, who the heck want to get up and roam around at 2 am in the freezing weather.
But i was thinking, as it’s a Saturday, there’s probably half the young population out enjoying themselves in night clubs and partying, I know I used to, cripes does this make me feel old.
I remember when I#d be up at 5,30 am travel 150 miles to a dog show, come back at around 8pm get changed and go out clubbing. God the stamina you have when you’re younger. would I do it again? too bl***y right I would. LOL
Before i got the laptop out I was staring into space and reminiscing about the past, now that gets a bit unhealthy at 2 am. Opposite the bed above the window are photographs of my two girls when they were about three, and one of Whisper,one of my collies, and I got to going back in time to these days, feeling quite nostalgic, I considered getting out the old photos, but decided that it would be a bit cluttery on the bed.
It gets me thinking sometimes of how my life’s panned out, and what the good and not so good bits have affected it, and often wonder what would I change, if anything, just where would I stop the clock and change direction. Maybe it would be interesting if you were allowed to do a taste and try on that, be able to experience for a month or so what life would have been like had you done so, jsut to see if you’d go through with it, let’s say you could have three chances, but once you’d discarded one you couldn’t go back. There have been perhaps three major incidents in my life that the decision I have made at the time, have made a huge difference and affected not only mine, but my daughter’s lives. and often wonder which one I would have avoided and taken a different road, or is it all mapped out for you and you have no sway in the matter, therefore the outcome is out of your hands.
I have a day to myself tomorrow and have so much to do I won’t know where to start, but I bet I won’t get half of it done anyroad, The damn lawn needs cutting again for a start, windows need washing, net curtains washing, shrubs, to be pruned, some planting to do, and I still haven’t made a start on the painting of Nettle that I’ve promised for Sue. the trouble is, when I get these disturbed nights I sleep later than normal surfacing around 8 am and feeling tired in the middle of the day.
Well I’m getting a bit heavy eyed, and can’t think of any more to ramble about, so i’ll do a bit of surfing before the battery goes.
I’ll probably look at this in the morning and think I’m losing my marbles, I’m noticing already i’m making a lot of typos and keep having to correct them. G’night, or shall I say good morning, I can just hear the robin starting to tweet.