No way, I replied, I’m sitting here peacefully reading,
Why not, said the voice,
Because i don’t want to, I said,
Come on, you know you enjoy it,it persisted,
Oh go away and let me alone, just because I enjoy it doesn’t mean to say I want to do it every waking minute,
There was a chuckle, oh but you used to, ’it’ said
I’ve got over it , and have other things to do now,
Not nearly so interesting though, are they?
Huh! that’s your opinion, I’ve spent too many hours pandering to your whims, I’ve woke up and smelt the coffee as they say, and now realize how much I gave in to you
Aw, come on , just one more time, it won’t take long, the voice pleaded.
No, no, no, can’t you get it through your thick skull or whatever you use for a brain, I’m not interested, I've kicked the habit, I’M in charge now, and I call the shots, so butt out and leave me alone.
There was a silence for a while, and then a while longer and longer, i tried to concentrate on my book, but couldn’t , thoughts and images flashed through my mind of how things used to be and how they could be again if I gave in.
My mind started to drift back to lazy evenings indulging in ‘the habit’ , then I recalled it wasn’t just evenings, it was becoming almost an all consuming nightmare and I couldn’t think of anything else.
My life didn’t seem to be mine anymore, I was becoming addicted and didn’t like it, but I did enjoy it,
When I think of how you sit there in a corner of my head, beckoning, robbing me of my very soul, stealing my thoughts, it scares me.
The voice gave another little chuckle, it was obviously tuned into my thoughts.
Well, have you made up your mind yet, it said, I’m here waiting, Just one more time, it won’t hurt you, it’s quite painless really, and I bet you’ll feel better when it's done. come on, it wheedled, you can always go back to your book afterwards.
I can feel myself weakening much against my will I put down the book drag myself over to where the voice was coming from, hating myself every minute, calling myself a weak, spineless addicted fool, but I can’t help it.
Well, I console myself, maybe just maybe someone will like what I'm about to do, so I lift the lid of the laptop and succumb once more to the lures of blogging!
The voice's laughter echoed all the way back into the dark recesses of my head, it had won.