Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ..... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
If you come on here looking for some mind-blowing conversation or profound words of wisdom, well you've come to the wrong place and will be disappointed. I'm just an ordinary bod who likes to share my day with anyone who cares to listen. Tales of my dogs, my garden, my family and happenings in my life that I feel might just be amusing....If you're happy with that, draw up a chair, light up a ciggie if you wish or have a cup of tea and make yourself at home.
Ruby and Tango
Me 'n' Ruby and of course Tango
Ha ha ha ...this is good where do you get these things that you post, it never happens when i try and do something
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LOL! Loved this one Arlene.
ReplyDeleteThanks both, glad to share with you, Lo I get all these things from friends and family through email.
ReplyDeleteGreat Arlene I just loved this, how is your back pain by the way? Hugs Sheilax
ReplyDeleteHi Sheila, Not sure where you heard of my back pain, but I obviously posted somewhere about the slipped discs I had over five years ago, and I still get problems due to nerve damage, though it's down my legs. though it's much better than it was, thanks.
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