Ruby and Tango

Ruby and Tango
Me 'n' Ruby and of course Tango

Sunday, 30 January 2011

The young girls' tale

Jenny suggested we post 7 things about ourselves, well I don't know about 7, I like the colour orange, warm weather , sausage and mash, dogs, nature, and I wonder if below's tale counts.

The young girl’s tale
The date was August 1937, The venue was a Maternity Home for unmarried mothers, the cast was The young girl, the older Lady and the baby.

I will look after your baby till you are in a position to come for her and look after her yourself, the older lady said to the young girl…….She handed over the baby which she had given birth to a month after her 17th birthday.

The older lady took the baby home to stay with her and her family of four boys and a girl
The years passed and with the exception of an occasional visit, the baby hardly saw her mother - the young girl, but accepted life as it was, only knowing her as’ Aunt Edith who was very glamorous and came in a taxi, with gifts such as handkerchiefs, sweets and books. The girl used to wish she was her Mother!
The young lady married and eventually decided she was in a position to have her daughter back, who by this time was ten years old.
The young girl was very excited as they had a car, telephone, fridge and a big house, as the man her mother married was an Italian restaurateur and quite rich.
But………………he was not a nice man, and wanted to do things with the little girl that she was not happy about, she didn’t think it right she should take off her knickers because he said her ballet dress was too tight, and she didn’t like when sitting on his knee he touched her, and said it was their special secret.
When her mother went out she used to go and stand by the window where she felt safe as she could see on to the street and the people passing by. Her main comfort was the two dogs and the cat. But the man could be cruel to them and it made her cry.
One day when she went back to the older lady to visit, she told one of the family about the ‘secret’ and it proved to be the best thing she did, though at the time she didn’t think so., as she wasn’t allowed to go back to her mother that night or for some time.
Later on she was taken to a big building where men in long cloaks and wigs asked her a lot of questions, and asked did she want to stay with the older lady or go to her mother, I can’t understand why they asked her that, as they wouldn’t allow her to go back. She was so confused; after all she was only ten.
 After a long battle she was officially adopted three years later.

Six more years passed and the little girl, was now a young lady .did all the usual things, she went skating, dancing, cafĂ©’s and enjoyed the boys company, but in those days you didn’t date so young, besides she was kept on a tight rein, just in case she went down the road her mother did, as the older lady was keen to remind her about.
One day she decided to pay her mother a visit who by this time had a young family with the ‘man’ , She was very polite and entertained her in the lounge, and when she left said, very clearly, ‘please don’t come back’
The young girl smiled to hide her heartbreak and said she understood, but the pain bit deep and was never forgotten.

Many more years passed and the young girl was now a mother herself and nearing middle age too, though often gave a thought to her mother.
The old lady died, and let the young girl free to pursue a strong urge to find her natural mother, and with the help of a family friend did so.
One day she received a phone call………….a vaguely familiar voice said ‘is that you A…………….? She knew immediately who it was.
After a long conversation in which she learned that her mother was now a widow, her husband had committed suicide, and also tried to kill her, she had fled from him with the children,  two boys and a girl, but sadly one boy was killed in a road accident, he was very like you she said, the other two having the Italian looks of their father.
Arrangements were made for us to meet and all would come into the open, and the lost years caught up with. The excitement was unbearable.
About a month later a letter was received from a hospital in rather scrawled writing….., I am in hospital with back pain, and they are trying to find out the cause, ……
The next she heard that her mother had broken a leg,  the girl contacted the hospital to find out what was the problem, after having to prove she was the daughter. It was lung cancer said Matron, and it had spread to her bones, causing the break.
She travelled the 500 miles to the hospital and they met for the first time in 24 years.
She came home again and promised to come back as soon as she sorted out the family,
Then came another phone call…………………….her mother had died less than a week after she left., she was only 58 the young girl was 41. She took at least a little comfort in knowing they did at least meet again, though the mystery of who her father was will now never be solved, was he a spotty youth on a date or a dirty old man who took advantage?

Oh,  By the way she did meet her half-brother at the hospital, but he didn’t want to know, things like that happen he said’.......  but then there was a lot of money there and I expect he worried in case she was looking for a share, but being legally adopted, it wasn’t possible.

There is still a half-sister out there, maybe she knows about me, maybe she doesn’t, anyhow at 73 am I bothered? Nah.
Me with my mum Edith at 8 months.
My Mum Edith and her husband the man Louis


  1. I am shaken, I am enthralled, and I am in utter awe of you, Arlene. THIS story is one that I will never forget. The way you told it was perfection, the best writing and best insight and heart I've seen in a long time. What a thing to happen, and to you, such a wonderful woman! I am so sorry that it did, but I'll bet it gave you the real power to understand a lot of other people that went through similar circumstances. You would have made a terrific teacher or counselor to young people. This story is definitely prize winning, but it's really you that is the prize.

  2. This story touched my heart Arlene. Thank you for being brave enough to share it with us.

    Big Hug

  3. Thank you for your kind remarks Jenny and Beth, I felt after 60 years I could face putting pen to paper as it were and let some daylight blow through my life, I do admit to almost blubbing a couple of times, as I can still recall many things vividly. but it's maybe time to lay the ghosts of the past., and to who better with friends with the beauty that I can keep my expression hidden.

  4. Your recipe sounds delicious. May I have permission to post it on my recipe site with credit given to you? Thank you.

  5. Of course you can Beth, but I don't want any credit it's from the Hamlyn all colour cook book, I like it because it is so easy, no creaming or kneading.

  6. Arlene, it took a lot of courage to put this on paper to share with us. You are a strong lady though and I'm proud to know you.

  7. HI Arlene,
    I answered on WP I know, but just wanted to drop by and leave a comment here. Your painful past has made you what you are today, a wonderfully strong, humourous and loving lady who I'm proud to know. and I hope the ghosts of the past have been laid by your writing the pain 'out'.. hugs, woofs, licks, from her Maj and me of course...xx

  8. Arlene
    Your story made me cry, and you were so brave to actually put pen to paper so to speak, i hope you have found a curtain amount of relief in getting it off your chest after all these years, you have lots of friends here that admire you as i do for making your life as bearable as you have
    You may never have got to where you are now if things had been different
    Thank you for sharing and bless you i am proud to call you a friend

  9. Hi Arlene, I didn't realize it was your story until I got to the end. I have a freind that was adopted, he is in his mid 50's and is now trying to find his mother, she would be in her 80's, maybe not alive, don't know.

  10. Horst, I consider myself fortunate in the fact that I at least did know my mother, even if other things didn't quite pan out, but I feel it would have been in some perverse way worse if I didn't know her or anything about her. not knowing who sired me is bad enough. I hope your friend has some luck, but it seems a bit unlikely given the lady's age., |Life can be so cruel.

  11. You are indeed brave Arlene to share this sad story with us all, you have come through and living the life you love. Thank you for sharing and being my friend. Hugs Sheilax

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